Five years ago the occasional couple would present themselves at Andrew G. Marshall's therapy office after one partner had confessed- 'I love you, but I'm not in love with you.' These couples might describe each other as their best friend, or admit that they had become more like a brother and sister, except that most were still having sex. In essence, the partnership had become defined by companionship rather than passion, and companionship was no longer enough. In recent years, however, more and more couples have complained to Andrew of the same problem - almost one in four. Discovering an absolute lack of research into 'I love you but . . .', marriage counsellor and writer Andrew devised his own unique and highly successful approach. In I Love You But I'm Not in Love with You, he shares his insights into what brings a couple to this pivotal point and the seven steps that can make it a step forward. By looking at how a couple communicate, argue, show love and affection, foster a sense of play, take responsibility, give and learn, he offers a reassuring and empowering map for how two individuals can better understand themselves and each other, and forge a bond that is stronger than ever.
Seven Steps to Coping with Conflict in Your Relationship
Author: Andrew G Marshall
Pubpsher: A&C Black
Category: Family & Relationships
Do you have arguments that go round and round in circles? Do you and your partner keep picking at each other over stupid things? Can things turn nasty when you disagree? Despite all the falling out, making up and promises to try harder, do you find that nothing really changes? If all this sounds familiar, it is time for a fresh approach. In this down-to-earth book, marital therapist Andrew G Marshall draws on twenty-five years of counselling couples to explain how to deal with conflict and find lasting solutions. Discover: - Why avoiding arguments stores up long-term problems. - What really drives those petty squabbles. - How to stop things spiralling out of control. - Five useful things to argue about. - The tools to have productive and positives disagreements. - How to learn and move on.
Seven Steps to Getting Clarity and Commitment in Your Relationship
Author: Andrew G Marshall
Pubpsher: Bloomsbury Publishing
Category: Family & Relationships
In the movies, a couple meet and they just know that each has found that one special person. Marriage, children and eternal bliss are just a heart-beat away. Unfortunately in the real world, it is much harder to work out if a relationship has a future or not. Most people do not have these blinding flashes or if they've had them in the past, have been badly let down and no longer trust their own judgement. If this sounds familiar and you're not sure if your relationship is serious or you're just wasting your time, this book is for you. Marital therapist Andrew G Marshall draws on extensive research and twenty-five years' experience of working with couples to help you understand what is going on beneath the surface. He explains: - How to tell if your partner is truly into you. - How to know if you want to spend the rest of your life with this person. - The natural rhythm of relationships and how both jumping in too soon or spending too long on hold can ruin a budding romance. - How to stop listening to other people and listen to your heart. - How to talk productively about your future. (Some of the exercises in this book have appeared in The Single Trap by Andrew G. Marshall, published by Bloomsbury)
Whether your partner left or it's you who decided to end the relationship, breaking-up is painful, difficult and sometimes overwhelming. Friends and family urge you to forget the past and reach for the future. However, it is never that simple. Before you can move on, you need to understand what went wrong, mourn the loss and, most importantly, to heal. In this compassionate book, marital therapist, Andrew G Marshall takes you from hearing the bad news or making the decision to leave, through the fall-out from the split, the first steps of recovery and finally onto making a new life. He covers: - Knowing when to stop trying and accept the inevitable. - Why the break-up hurts so much. - Emotional first-aid to make it through the worst times. - The difference between looking back and learning, and becoming trapped in the past. - What helps and what hinders recovery. - Making sense of your break-up. - Helping your children cope. - Learning how to fly high again. With over 25 years' experience as a marital therapist, Marshall draws on hundreds of case studies, and provides sensible, compassionate and practical advice. (Some of the exercises in this book have appeared in I Love You But I'm Not In Love With You by Andrew G. Marshall, published by Bloomsbury)
7 Steps to Improving Your Self-Esteem and Your Relationships
Author: Andrew G. Marshall
Pubpsher: Health Communications, Inc.
Create a wealth of self-worth. In a black-and-white world, there are two types of people—those who love themselves too much (and walk over everybody else) or hate themselves for failing to achieve goals (and probably end up being taken advantage of by others). But, according to British marital therapist, Andrew G. Marshall, neither has a healthy perception of oneself. This is because the secret to self-esteem does not lie in the extremes of love and hate, but in the middle, in the gray area that teaches us to love ourselves just enough: enough to have love to offer others; enough to be open to receive love from others. Only when this kind of balance is created, can self-love exist. Like no other book on self-esteem ever written, Learn to Love Yourself Enough helps readers walk through life on middle ground by revealing the seven factors that, together, add up to a wealth of self-worth. Examine your relationship with your parents: Discover the six types of child-parent relationships and how to accept the legacy of your past. Find Forgiveness: Debunk the two myths about forgiveness and discover what can be gained from negative experiences. Don't let other people put you down: Recognize the five phases of projection and how understanding our own projections lead to better and happy relationships. Re-program your inner voice: Identify the three kinds of negative thinking that work together to undermine self-confidence and whether they are based on fact or just opinion. Set realistic goals: Learn how perfectionism undermines self-esteem. Re-balance yourself: Understand that problems lurk in the extremes and why the middle way is the most successful way. Conquer Fears and Setbacks: Overcome the day-to-day problems that life and other people throw at us.
The kids are happy, but how are things really between you and your partner? In modern parenting, the established wisdom is that you should prioritize the needs of your children above all else. But relationship therapist Andrew G. Marshall argues that couples who tirelessly put their children first are not only sacrificing each other’s needs and desires, but also increasing the chance of marital breakdown and creating unhappy, insecure kids. I Love You But You Always Put Me Last is about balancing your priorities so you don’t lose sight of your marriage when you become a parent. Based on twenty-five years of counselling experience, this book will help you: Maintain intimacy and strengthen your bond of love Work as a team and avoid negative parenting patterns Provide good relationship role models for your children Create a strong marriage, confident children and a happy family
Scenes From The Blue Book is a collection of poems that evoke joy and pain, as well as inspires and uplifts. This first volume of poems by author Kelly R. Jackson runs the full range of emotion. There are stories of love lost and found, stories that touch on the plight of the Black community and stories of redemption and spirituality. Poems like "Swan Song" and "Familiar To Me" tell stories of letting go and the apprehension that comes with starting all over again, while poems like "Not my girl" and pieces like "The Glass" cover the still ever evolving male/female relationship issues that continue to exist. "Slave Days" and "Awake" offer inspiration, while emotions flow deeply on tribute poems like"On My Way Home" and "KJ In Progress". Also included is a special tribute to the author's mom, the eloquently written, "The Gardener" Scenes From The Blue Book also includes commentary on the entertainment industry and its views on Black America, the bond of the Black family and the struggle for self improvement. This book is insightful, thought provoking and provocative. If you enjoy poetry, Scenes From The Blue Book is a must read.
The Proven 7-Step Program for Saving Your Marriage
Author: Michele Weiner Davis
Pubpsher: Simon and Schuster
Category: Family & Relationships
In the United States, half of all marriages end in divorce. Therapist Weiner Davis offers couples the keys to acquiring the relationship and communication skills they need to bring their marriages back to life.
Award-winning couples therapist Peter Fraenkel argues that most relationship problems can be traced to partners being out of sync on the powerful but mostly hidden dimension of time. Differences in daily rhythms, personal pace, punctuality, time perspective, and priorities about how time is allocated can all lead to couple conflict. Yet the fascinating fact is that these polarizing time differences play a potent role in attracting lovers in the first place. In this trailblazing new book, he draws on his original research to show how a clearer understanding of these forces can improve the health of your relationship and even rescue a failing one.
I mean what is Love, and what are we with it, and what are we without it, as even I have been challenged to open up this the book of love with such curiosity, and with such sincere intensity, so as to attempt to defy all reason and logic, to tell you that I Love you, and whether you believe it or not, or whether you accept this statement as having any real meaning or impact upon you or not, or if indeed you view this statement as being non personal in relation and reference to you or not, or as to whom I should be, or could be addressing if not you, and whether these words really connect, or reflect, or affect you in any way, as you read this the book of love.