Just Married Mad Libs

Author: Molly Reisner
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 0843180005
Size: 51.91 MB
Format: PDF, Docs
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Just Married Mad Libs features 21 hilarious stories all about being a newlywed! At only $4.99 it makes a great buy for all your just married friends--or buy it to play on the plane or honeymoon with your new husband or wife!

The Little Book Of Big Excuses

Author: Addie Johnson
Publisher: Conari Press
ISBN: 9781573243131
Size: 67.37 MB
Format: PDF
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Nobody ever said being an adult was easy. But it's easier with The Little Book of Big Excuses, with hundreds of excuses for things you did, things you didn't do, things you did wrong, and things you never want to hear about again. First things first: "Fake Don't Flake." In here are your excuses for being late for or not showing up to any number of places for any number of reasons--grandma's birthday party, work, home, weddings, dentists appointments. "Excusez-Moi, si'l vous plait" is where to look when you're caught wearing a halter top to a black tie event. Or forget your boss's spouse's name--again. Or don't want to pick up the tab. The French have a word for everything. If you need to learn how to say "I'd Love to, but"--the art of articulating just why you can't do most anything you don't want to do--in any language, this is the book for you. Demonstrate your incompetence. When someone asks you to bring those complicated hors d'oeuvres, show up half an hour late with half the ingredients. Bonus section here: how to get someone else to do all the work while you still get the credit. "Delivery Subsystem Failure--Mailboxes, Messages, Missives Gone Awry, Oh My!" Never, ever again will you want for an excuse for not writing, calling, IMing, or emailing. Fake communication breakdowns make fail-safe excuses for a myriad of don't wannas and didn't do its. "All's Fair in Love" contains excuses for not calling, not going on the second date, forgetting the birthday or anniversary of the one you love. Plus how to retreat with remorse, even from the altar steps. Hint: You could have your mother or your manager phone it in. That's what Julia Roberts did. * Hundreds of excuses for thousands of situations, plus "The Excuse Clinic: How to Make Lame Excuses Walk and Okay Excuses Sing." * Life is serious business, people, so pay attention. Let Addie help you off the hook.

Going Away Party

Author: Laura Pedersen
Publisher:
ISBN:
Size: 27.37 MB
Format: PDF, Mobi
View: 808
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Jessica MacGuire stays home to study while her parents leave for vacation, but when middle-aged widower Denny Sinclair arrives, she spends the week in an alcoholic haze that somehow leads her to a good job, passing grades, romance, and maturity.

To Pee Or Not To Pee

Author: Pearl Chance Todreeme
Publisher: Ulysses Press
ISBN: 9781646040315
Size: 75.28 MB
Format: PDF, ePub
View: 4167
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Give your pregnancy brain a break with this ultimate collection of funny activities, entertaining games, and surprising trivia all about the joys of growing a human just above your bladder—a perfect baby shower gift for moms-to-be! Being pregnant is a miracle and a gift, but let’s be real, sometimes it just plain sucks. Take a seat and give yourself (and your swollen feet) a break with the coloring pages, crosswords, word tumbles, mazes, journal prompts, and much more inside the charming, hilarious, and utterly irreverent activity book written specifically for expectant mothers. Inside, you’ll find activities like: - Constipation word challenges - “Can I touch your belly?” retort generator - BYO terrible pregnancy advice - Birth plan Mad Libs - Coloring fun at the OB/GYN - And more. . . Whether you’re looking for yourself or for the perfect baby shower gift, there’s something for every preggo mom-to-be in this snarky, sassy, and (surprisingly) informative adult activity book.

The Meteoric Rise Of Simon Burchwood

Author: Scott Semegran
Publisher: Mutt Press
ISBN:
Size: 19.19 MB
Format: PDF, Mobi
View: 1701
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On his way to New York to celebrate his impending literary success, Simon Burchwood is the prototypical American careerist: arrogant, egotistical, narcissistic. But a quick detour to Montgomery, Alabama to visit a childhood friend sends Simon on a bizarre journey, challenging his hopes and dreams of becoming a famous writer. The Meteoric Rise of Simon Burchwood is a character study that delves into the psyche of a man who desperately tries to redefine himself. Is Simon pompous? Yes. A jerk? Yes. Will you like him? Absolutely! "The book is told entirely from Simon's viewpoint. Simon is not a very likable guy; as a matter of fact, he is a self-centered, pompous jerk. But for some reason, it's pretty fun to be inside his head, mainly because he is an inadvertent, oblivious jerk... you will learn Simon's views on smoking, cleanliness and going to the bathroom, just to name a few. There were times that I laughed out loud... A very good novel that was humorous throughout." 4 1/2 Stars - Red Adept Reviews "The close-to-the-bone novel captures perfectly the intensely solipsistic nature of a certain type of author ... a clever and surprising twist." — Kirkus Reviews The Meteoric Rise of Simon Burchwood was selected as one of the "5 Best Summer Indie Beach Reads" by the editors of The Indie Reader. Their verdict: "An ambitious, enjoyable read with a superb ending that changed my interpretation of the entire text." Here's their review: Simon Burchwood is a hard-bitten, wannabe novelist teetering on the brink of literary stardom. Yet a brief sojourn in Montgomery, Alabama challenges his haughty façade-and the "meteoric rise" that has continually eluded him. Sure, Burchwood is egocentric-despicable, even. Admittedly, his lengthy monologues often irritate more than intrigue, crippling the novel's weightier themes. Yet his ill-fated journey, while occasionally long-winded, is strangely captivating. Semegran's tragic cast of characters struggle to confront disappointing realities: the impossibly optimistic Jason fights to salvage what's left of his disintegrating marriage, while Patty Green--Burchwood's childhood flame--scrambles to make ends meet as a stripper at "Cinnamon's Big Boobie Bonanza." Even Burchwood himself--trekking from Montgomery, Alabama to New York, New York--ultimately discards his delusions of grandeur to find his dreams in shambles. "The Meteoric Rise of Simon Burchwood" weaves a heart-rending portrait of lowered expectation: of a man eschewing, and ultimately embracing, mediocrity. Semegran deftly unmasks the divide between adolescent expectations and adult realities, and does so using Burchwood's crass, profanity-laden commentary-though at times readers will crave a little less Simon, and a little more everyone else. Verdict: An ambitious, enjoyable read with a superb ending that changed my interpretation of the entire text. Reviewed by Sonia Tsuruoka for The Indie Reader