Seriously I M Kidding

Author: Ellen DeGeneres
Publisher: Hachette UK
ISBN: 0446585033
Size: 66.27 MB
Format: PDF, Mobi
View: 2377
Download
Ellen DeGeneres's winning, upbeat candor has made her show one of the most popular, resilient, and honored daytime shows on the air, and her life makes for great (and very funny) reading. Relatable, her first stand-up special in 15 years, airs on Netflix beginning December 18, 2018. "I've experienced a whole lot the last few years and I have a lot to share. So I hope that you'll take a moment to sit back, relax and enjoy the words I've put together for you in this book. I think you'll find I've left no stone unturned, no door unopened, no window unbroken, no rug unvacuumed, no ivories untickled. What I'm saying is, let us begin, shall we?" Seriously... I'm Kidding is a lively, hilarious, and often sweetly poignant look at the life of the much-loved entertainer as she opens up about her personal life, her talk show, and more. PRAISE FOR SERIOUSLY...I'M KIDDING "DeGeneres's amiably oddball riffs on everything from kale to catwalks to Jesus will make fans smile." - People "Whatever the topic, DeGeneres's compulsively readable style will appeal to fans old and new." - Publishers Weekly "Fans will not be disappointed...[DeGeneres's] trademark wit and openness shine through and through." -- Kirkus

100 Unexpected Statements About Seriously I M Kidding

Author: Lucas Maxey
Publisher: Lennex
ISBN: 9785458955584
Size: 40.96 MB
Format: PDF
View: 3214
Download
In this book, we have hand-picked the most sophisticated, unanticipated, absorbing (if not at times crackpot!), original and musing book reviews of "Seriously...I'm Kidding." Don't say we didn't warn you: these reviews are known to shock with their unconventionality or intimacy. Some may be startled by their biting sincerity; others may be spellbound by their unbridled flights of fantasy. Don't buy this book if: 1. You don't have nerves of steel. 2. You expect to get pregnant in the next five minutes. 3. You've heard it all.

Double Dealing Iii The Pun

Author: Chuck Closson
Publisher: Xlibris Corporation
ISBN: 1483632822
Size: 64.40 MB
Format: PDF, ePub, Docs
View: 3073
Download
The Pun is Older than Punctuation The start and use of punctuation occurred around 1500 AD. Prior to this no commas, periods, quotation marks, etc., were used in writing. What one doesn't have, one learns to do without. Books then were rare, no printing presses. Somewhere in those early years someone decided interpretative marks were needed to enhance writing. Yet puns were employed much earlier. In the New Testament, Matthew 16:18, Jesus is quoted as having said, "You are Peter, on this rock, I will build my Church". The word Peter in that ancient language translates as "rock. In effect a pun. Another early pun the headless horseman wore an unusual necklace. A young St. Augustine prayed, "Lord, make me pure, but not yet". Someone punned him as being a "roaming Catholic". Puns are inferential; they twist together meanings and entwine connections to enhance incongruity. No ifs, ands, or butts. Just a few months ago the White House and Congress faced the Fiscal Cliff. After weeks of back and forth wrangling only a few hours remained before going over the cliff to higher taxes. Expressing her disfavor toward a do nothing Congress, House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi said, punningly, "Congress, it's all about time, it's about time!"

The Real Deal

Author: Kofi Quaye
Publisher: Xlibris Corporation
ISBN: 1465330437
Size: 30.24 MB
Format: PDF, Kindle
View: 7606
Download
What happens when a hardcore American thug and hustler meets a young African wannabe gangsta in New York? Culture shock for the African when he finds out the real deal in the thug life, in the hood, in the mean streets of America, that wearing the wrong colors can get you killed, that being at the wrong place at the wrong time can be a fatal mistake. Culture shock for the American gangsta when the African pulls his girl, because she finds him real and grounded among other things. Together, the unlikely pair go up against the big boys and end up with more problems than they bargained for.

Jokelopedia

Author: Eva Blank
Publisher: Workman Publishing
ISBN: 0761176845
Size: 23.99 MB
Format: PDF, ePub
View: 3237
Download
It’s the mother of all kids’ joke books—an all-encompassing, gut-busting, and bestselling collection of more than 1,700 jokes, tongue-twisters, riddles, and puns for all occasions. Here are 61 elephant jokes, including: What did the elephant say when he walked into the post office? / Ouch! Dozens of knock-knock jokes, like: Knock-knock. / Who’s there? / Doris. / Doris who? / Doris locked. That’s why I knocked! Plus teacher jokes and creature jokes, doctor jokes and robber jokes, food jokes, gross jokes, why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road jokes, and name-game jokes: What do you call a man in a tiger’s cage? / Claude. And for all aspiring comedians, there are joke-telling pointers and tips, funny facts, and spotlights on comic TV shows, books, and actors, from Steve Carell to Tina Fey to SpongeBob Squarepants. It’s the ultimate gift for the incurable jokester.

Dangerous Mercy

Author: Kathy Herman
Publisher: David C Cook
ISBN: 9781434704702
Size: 38.28 MB
Format: PDF, Kindle
View: 3751
Download
This intense psychological thriller is the second book in the Secrets of Roux River Bayou series from best-selling author Kathy Herman.

The Boy Next Door

Author: Katie Van Ark
Publisher: Macmillan
ISBN: 1250061784
Size: 55.25 MB
Format: PDF, ePub
View: 6064
Download
Maddy Spier's been in love with the boy next door forever. As his figure skating partner she spends time in his arms every day. But she's also seen his arms around other girls—lots of other girls. How can she make him realize that they can be partners off the ice as well? Gabe's relationship with Maddy is vital. He can't imagine skating with anyone else, and together they have a real chance at gold–maybe even making it to the Olympics! So he's decided to think of her as a sister. After all, family is forever, but he's never dated anyone for more than two weeks. Then their coach assigns a new romantic skating program, and everything changes. Will this be the big break that Maddy's been hoping for or the big break-up that Gabe has always feared?

Committed To The Baby

Author: Maureen Child
Publisher: Harlequin
ISBN: 1460382692
Size: 26.33 MB
Format: PDF
View: 6677
Download
Two beloved romance stories from USA Today bestselling author Maureen Child and Teresa Southwick. Claiming King's Baby Their last meeting to sign divorce papers goes wrong when passion overtakes Maggie and Justice King. Still, she walks away with a legal decree—and a pregnancy. Justice had always refused to have children, so this is one fact she won't reveal to him. But when Maggie ends up back at the King ranch, her secret must come out! The Doctor's Secret Baby After their passionate affair, Emily Summers walked away from Cal Westen. Now she's telling him they have a baby? The sensual social worker burned him once, and this ER surgeon isn't making that mistake again. Then he meets his daughter. And the no-strings-attached doctor feels his heart expand…to make room for two females in his life.

Sh

Author: Matthew Charles Marshall
Publisher: Matthew Marshall
ISBN: 9780976647607
Size: 68.55 MB
Format: PDF, Docs
View: 3597
Download

The Bend Of The World A Novel

Author: Jacob Bacharach
Publisher: W. W. Norton & Company
ISBN: 0871408147
Size: 25.72 MB
Format: PDF, ePub, Docs
View: 942
Download
“Bacharach has a great comic voice— shrewd, deadpan, and dirty—and The Bend of the World fears no weirdness.”—Sam Lipsyte “Mighty strange doings” mark the Pittsburgh of Jacob Bacharach’s audacious and hilarious debut novel, a town where “yeti, UFOs, rumors of orgiastic rites, intimations of the Mayan apocalypse and ‘psycho-temporal distortions’ add that extra zing to the bustling night life” (James Wolcott). On the edge of thirty, and comfortably adrift in life, Peter Morrison finds his personal and professional life taking a turn for the weird as his attempts to transition into adulthood are thwarted by conspiracies both real and imagined. In this madcap coming-of-age novel, where no one quite comes of age, Bacharach brings an “immensely entertaining” and “Vonnegut-like sensibility” (Library Journal ) to the “aptly surreal satire” (Dan Chaon) of hipsters, corporations, and American life in the adolescent years of the twenty-first century. “A disarming, intelligent and seriously funny debut,” The Bend of the World “marks the arrival of Jacob Bacharach as a writer to watch” (Bob Hoover, Pittsburgh Post-Gazette).