Why Marriages Succeed Or Fail

Author: John Gottman
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1439126186
Size: 59.75 MB
Format: PDF
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Psychologist John Gottman has spent twenty years studying what makes a marriage last. Now you can use his tested methods to evaluate, strengthen, and maintain your own long-term relationship. This breakthrough book guides you through a series of self-tests designed to help you determine what kind of marriage you have, where your strengths and weaknesses are, and what specific actions you can take to help your marriage. You'll also learn that more sex doesn't necessarily improve a marriage, frequent arguing will not lead to divorce, financial problems do not always spell trouble in a relationship, wives who make sour facial expressions when their husbands talk are likely to be separated within four years and there is a reason husbands withdraw from arguments—and there's a way around it. Dr. Gottman teaches you how to recognize attitudes that doom a marriage—contempt, criticism, defensiveness, and stonewalling—and provides practical exercises, quizzes, tips, and techniques that will help you understand and make the most of your relationship. You can avoid patterns that lead to divorce, and—Why Marriages Succeed or Fail will show you how.

Fight Your Way To A Better Marriage

Author: Greg Smalley
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1451669208
Size: 39.94 MB
Format: PDF, Mobi
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In this counterintuitive book, author Dr. Greg Smalley maintains that fighting is actually good for a marriage. When couples fight, they have the opportunity to get to the real issue lurking below the surface about money, sex, in-laws, kids, etc. And that real issue, Dr. Smalley says, is fear—fear of rejection, inadequacy, or powerlessness, to name a few. What assuages these fears are things like intimacy, respect, validation, love, and connection. Learning to take advantage of the opportunity that conflict provides is what this book is all about. The good news of Fight Your Way to a Better Marriage is that conflict—when handled correctly—is the doorway to intimacy and under-standing. As Dr. Smalley leads readers through the many faces of conflict, he is open and candid about his own marriage and the unproductive fights he and his wife have had. He uses his fears and emotional triggers as examples to help read-ers discover their own. Couples will learn how to fight their way to a better marriage, using the skills, concepts, and exercises shared in this remarkable book. *** Typical marriage fights = money, sex, in-laws, and kids. But what if fights could = trust, respect, intimacy, and understanding? WHAT IF CONFLICT IN MARRIAGE COULD BE A GOOD THING? The truth is that marriages and spouses can’t grow without conflict. Some of the many values of conflict include: * An opportunity to break old, ineffective patterns * A way to guard against being too comfortable or too complacent, which breeds mediocrity and boredom * Insight into your own personal issues * A window for viewing each other’s deepest feelings and needs * Reduction of tension as emotions are vented and stress is released * Greater trust and intimacy after pushing through difficult and heated conversations * Higher levels of marital satisfaction every time you manage the conflict well * The sole reason we have the amazing experience of makeup sex

Before A Bad Goodbye

Author: Tim Clinton
Publisher: Thomas Nelson
ISBN: 1418565873
Size: 36.11 MB
Format: PDF, Mobi
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Tim Clinton has seen three outcomes through his marriage counseling practice-divorce, marriage in name only, and reconciliation. Reconciliation is, by far, the most difficult option. In Before a Bad Goodbye, he shows couples at the breaking point how to nurture forgiveness, develop mutual respect and demonstrate selfless love on a new path to reconciliation.

The Underdog Edge

Author: Amy Showalter
Publisher: Morgan James Publishing
ISBN: 1614480206
Size: 62.85 MB
Format: PDF, Docs
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A prominent consultant reveals secrets to help you influence and persuade others—even when you aren’t in a position of power. We all have occasions in which we want or need to persuade someone of greater clout, prestige, or authority to see things our way. There are books that show how to effect change from a leadership position or how to work with peers within your own organization—but what can you do when you need to exert “upward influence” with decision makers who can help you achieve your goals? In this book, a popular speaker and successful consultant with expertise in grassroots efforts shows which tactics are most successful when you’re the underdog. She also shares real-world stories of everyday people who have achieved persuasion success in politics and business with someone up the food chain, the peer-reviewed science behind their success—as well as insights from those whose minds they changed.

Strengths Based Therapy

Author: Elsie Jones-Smith
Publisher: SAGE Publications
ISBN: 1483321983
Size: 28.55 MB
Format: PDF, Kindle
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Combining both the theory and practice of strengths-based therapy, Elsie Jones-Smith introduces current and future practitioners to the modern approach of practice—presenting a model for treatment as well as demonstrations in clinical practice across a variety of settings. This highly effective form of therapy supports the idea that clients know best about what has worked and has not worked in their lives, helps them discover positive and effective solutions through their own experiences, and allows therapists to engage their clients in their own therapy. Drawing from cutting-edge research in neuroscience, positive emotions, empowerment, and change, Strengths-Based Therapy helps readers understand how to get their clients engaged as active participants in treatment.

Just One Thing

Author: Rick Hanson
Publisher: New Harbinger Publications
ISBN: 1608825698
Size: 19.68 MB
Format: PDF, Kindle
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You've heard the expression, “It’s the little things that count.” It's more than a simple platitude. Research has shown that integrating little daily practices into your life can actually change the way your brain works. This guide offers simple things you can do routinely, mainly inside your mind, that will support and increase your sense of security and worth, resilience, effectiveness, well-being, insight, and inner peace. For example, they include: taking in the good, protecting your brain, feeling safer, relaxing anxiety about imperfection, not knowing, enjoying your hands, taking refuge, and filling the hole in your heart. At first glance, you may be tempted to underestimate the power of these seemingly simple practices. But they will gradually change your brain through what’s called experience-dependent neuroplasticity. Moment to moment, whatever you're aware of—sounds, sensations, thoughts, or your most heartfelt longings—is based on underlying neural activities. This book offers simple brain training practices you can do every day to protect against stress, lift your mood, and find greater emotional resilience. Just one practice each day can help you to: • Be good to yourself • Enjoy life as it is • Build on your strengths • Be more effective at home and work • Make peace with your emotions With over fifty daily practices you can use anytime, anywhere, Just One Thing is a groundbreaking combination of mindfulness meditation and neuroscience that can help you deepen your sense of well-being and unconditional happiness.

The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work

Author: John Gottman, PhD
Publisher: Harmony
ISBN: 1101902914
Size: 20.71 MB
Format: PDF, Kindle
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Just as Masters and Johnson were pioneers in the study of human sexuality, so Dr. John Gottman has revolutionized the study of marriage. As a professor of psychology at the University of Washington and the founder and director of the Seattle Marital and Family Institute, he has studied the habits of married couples in unprecedented detail over the course of many years. His findings, and his heavily attended workshops, have already turned around thousands of faltering marriages. This book is the culmination of his life's work: the seven principles that guide couples on the path toward a harmonious and long-lasting relationship. Straightforward in their approach, yet profound in their effect, these principles teach partners new and startling strategies for making their marriage work. Gottman helps couples focus on each other, on paying attention to the small day-to-day moments that, strung together, make up the heart and soul of any relationship. Being thoughtful about ordinary matters provides spouses with a solid foundation for resolving conflict when it does occur and finding strategies for living with those issues that cannot be resolved. Packed with questionnaires and exercises whose effectiveness has been proven in Dr. Gottman's workshops, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the definitive guide for anyone who wants their relationship to attain its highest potential. The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the result of Dr. John Gottman's many years of closely observing thousands of marriages. This kind of longitudinal research has never been done before. Based on his findings, he has culled seven principles essential to the success of any marriage. Maintain a love map. Foster fondness and admiration. Turn toward instead of away. Accept influence. Solve solvable conflicts. Cope with conflicts you can't resolve. Create shared meaning. Dr. Gottman's unique questionnaires and exercises will guide couples on the road to revitalizing their marriage, or making a strong one even better.

Ten Lessons To Transform Your Marriage

Author: John Gottman, PhD
Publisher: Harmony
ISBN: 0307347117
Size: 14.38 MB
Format: PDF, Docs
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In Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage, marital psychologists John and Julie Gottman provide vital tools—scientifically based and empirically verified—that you can use to regain affection and romance lost through years of ineffective communication. In 1994, Dr. John Gottman and his colleagues at the University of Washington made a startling announcement: Through scientific observation and mathematical analysis, they could predict—with more than 90 percent accuracy—whether a marriage would succeed or fail. The only thing they did not yet know was how to turn a failing marriage into a successful one, so Gottman teamed up with his clinical psychologist wife, Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman, to develop intervention methods. Now the Gottmans, together with the Love Lab research facility, have put these ideas into practice. What emerged from the Gottmans’ collaboration and decades of research is a body of advice that’s based on two surprisingly simple truths: Happily married couples behave like good friends, and they handle their conflicts in gentle, positive ways. The authors offer an intimate look at ten couples who have learned to work through potentially destructive problems—extramarital affairs, workaholism, parenthood adjustments, serious illnesses, lack of intimacy—and examine what they’ve done to improve communication and get their marriages back on track. Hundreds of thousands have seen their relationships improve thanks to the Gottmans’ work. Whether you want to make a strong relationship more fulfilling or rescue one that’s headed for disaster, Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage is essential reading. From the Hardcover edition.