Wired for Love

How Understanding Your Partner's Brain and Attachment Style Can Help You Defuse Conflict and Build a

Wired for Love

"What the heck is my partner thinking?" is a common refrain in romantic relationships, and with good reason. Every person is wired for love differently, with different habits, needs, and reactions to conflict. The good news is that most people's minds work in predictable ways and respond well to security, attachment, and rituals, making it possible to actually neurologically prime the brain for greater love and fewer conflicts. Wired for Love is a complete insider’s guide to understanding your partner’s brain and enjoying a romantic relationship built on love and trust. Synthesizing research findings on how and why love lasts drawn from neuroscience, attachment theory, and emotion regulation, this book presents ten guiding principles that can improve any relationship. Strengthen your relationship by: • Creating and maintaining a safe “couple bubble” • Using morning and evening rituals to stay connected • Learning to fight so that nobody loses • Becoming the expert on what makes your partner feel loved By learning to use simple gestures and words, readers can learn to put out emotional fires and help their partners feel more safe and secure. The no-fault view of conflict in this book encourages readers to move past a "warring brain" mentality and toward a more cooperative "loving brain" understanding of the relationship. This book is essential reading for couples and others interested in understanding the complex dynamics at work behind love and trust in intimate relationships. While there’s no doubt that love is an inexact science, if you can discover how you and your partner are wired differently, you can overcome your differences to create a lasting intimate connection.

We Do

Saying Yes to a Relationship of Depth, True Connection, and Enduring Love

We Do

“If you and your prospective partner adopt the principles and skills I describe here, your relationship will be successful—not just for starters, but for the long run.” An indispensable guide for any couple ready to set the foundation for a loving and lasting union Committing fully to a loving partnership—a “we”—can be one of the most beautiful and fulfilling experiences you’ll ever have. Yet as anyone in a long-term relationship will tell you, it can also be one of the most challenging. Almost half of all first marriages end in divorce, and chances go down from there. So how do you beat the odds? “All successful long-term relationships are secure relationships,” writes psychotherapist Stan Tatkin. “You and your partner take care of each other in a way that ensures you both feel safe, protected, accepted, and secure at all times.” In We Do, Tatkin provides a groundbreaking guide for couples. You’ll figure out whether you and your partner are right for each other in the long term, and if so, give your relationship a strong foundation so you can enjoy a secure and lasting love. Highlights include: Create a shared vision for your relationship, the key to a strong foundation It’s all about prevention—learn tools and techniques for preventing problems before they occur Understand how to work with the psychological and biological influences in your relationship—neuroscience, arousal regulation, attachment theory, and more Numerous case studies with helpful examples of healthy and unhealthy interactions, sample dialogues, and reflections Dozens of exercises—the newlywed game, reading facial expressions, and many more fun and serious practices to develop intimacy and security Handling conflict—how to broker win-win outcomes Build a loving relationship that helps you thrive and grow as both individuals and a couple Common interests, physical attraction, shared values, and good communication skills are the factors most commonly thought to indicate a good partnership. Yet surprisingly, current research reveals that these are only a small part of what makes for a healthy marriage—much more important are psychological and biological influences. With We Do, you’ll learn to navigate these elements and more, giving your relationship the best possible chance to succeed.

Troubleshooting Relationships on the Autism Spectrum

A User's Guide to Resolving Relationship Problems

Troubleshooting Relationships on the Autism Spectrum

Don't you wish relationships came with a manual? Ashley Stanford has written a user's guide to relationships that adopts a practical troubleshooting approach to resolving difficulties that will greatly appeal to the logical minds of individuals on the autism spectrum, as well as offering valuable guidance to their partners. Troubleshooting identifies problems and makes them fixable. This book presents a three-step troubleshooting process that can defuse even the trickiest relationship dilemma. Specific problem areas are covered in detail including communication, executive functioning, mindblindness, attachment, intimacy, co-habiting, and raising a family. The book offers straightforward solution-focused strategies and additional help is given in the form of bulleted lists, summaries, scripts, and example scenarios.

The Emotionally Absent Mother, Updated and Expanded Second Edition

How to Recognize and Heal the Invisible Effects of Childhood Emotional Neglect

The Emotionally Absent Mother, Updated and Expanded Second Edition

The groundbreaking guide to self-healing and getting the love you missed. Was your mother preoccupied, distant, or even demeaning? Have you struggled with relationships—or with your own self-worth? Often, the grown children of emotionally absent mothers can’t quite put a finger on what’s missing from their lives. The children of abusive mothers, by contrast, may recognize the abuse—but overlook its lasting, harmful effects. Psychotherapist Jasmin Lee Cori has helped thousands of men and women heal the hidden wounds left by every kind of undermothering. In this second edition of her pioneering book, with compassion for mother and child alike, she explains: Possible reasons your mother was distracted or hurtful—and what she was unable to give The lasting impact of childhood emotional neglect and abuse How to find the child inside you and fill the “mother gap” through reflections and exercises How to secure a happier future for yourself (and perhaps for your children)

Getting Relationships Right

How to Build Resilience and Thrive in Life, Love, and Work

Getting Relationships Right

Relationships are complicated. Yet it's an unfortunate reality that while most of us have to learn complex geometry that we'll probably never use, we don't get a single formal lesson in how to relate to others. In this one-stop guide, psychologist Melanie Joy reveals the common psychological dynamics that underlie all kinds of relationships—with a romantic partner, friends, family members, colleagues—in short, with anyone in any situation. Understanding these dynamics will help you make all your relationships healthier and more resilient. Relationships are like bodies: they get sick when their immune system is weaker than the germs that stress them. Drawing on the most relevant research as well as on her own extensive experience as a psychologist, Joy explains how to strengthen your relational immune system to resist not only interpersonal stressors but also largely invisible yet potentially devastating societal stressors like racism and sexism. With this understanding, you can cultivate relationships that consistently reflect core moral values and honor the dignity of everyone involved. Resilient relationships are not only a source of joy and fulfillment for those who are in them, they also support the thriving of the organizations and communities of which we all are a part.

Stories of Therapy, Stories of Faith

Stories of Therapy, Stories of Faith

Stories of Therapy, Stories of Faith is a collection of stories from therapists who have amplified the theology already present in their work. In particular, these authors, a group of counseling practitioners and educators, bring forward a dialogue between their practices and a social Trinitarian theology that emphasizes the relational nature of God and humans. The resulting stories of practice give voice to the ethical hope that counseling practice is participation in the redemptive story of the Gospel. The authors write about their motivations for practice in initiatives as diverse as parenting, trauma work, opposing bullying in schools, reengaging orphaned African children with their heritage, providing hospitality for difference, and counselor education. Stories of Therapy, Stories of Faith will be of interest to counselors and counselor educators, particularly those drawn to developing their ethical and theological commitments within their therapeutic practices.

Moody Bitches

The Truth About the Drugs You're Taking, The Sleep You're Missing, The Sex You're Not Having, and What's Really Making You Crazy

Moody Bitches

A groundbreaking guide for women of all ages that shows women’s inherent moodiness is a strength, not a weakness As women, we learn from an early age that our moods are a problem. Bitches are moody. To succeed in life, we are told, we must have it all under control. We have to tamp down our inherent shifts in favor of a more static way of being. But our bodies are wiser than we imagine. Moods are not an annoyance to be stuffed away. They are a finely-tuned feedback system that, if heeded, can tell us how best to manage our lives. Our changing moods let us know when our bodies are primed to tackle different challenges and when we should be alert to developing problems. They help us select the right tool for each of our many jobs. If we deny our emotionality, we deny the breadth of our talents. With the right care of our inherently dynamic bodies, we can master our moods to avail ourselves of this great natural strength. Yet millions of American women are medicating away their emotions because our culture says that moodiness is a problem to be fixed. One in four of us takes a psychiatric drug. If you add sleeping pills to the mix, the statistics become considerably higher. Over-prescribed medications can have devastating consequences for women in many areas of our lives: sex, relationships, sleep, eating, focus, balance, and aging. And even if we don’t pop a pill, women everywhere are numbing their emotions with food, alcohol, and a host of addictive behaviors that deny the wisdom of our bodies and keep us from addressing the real issues that we face. Dr. Julie Holland knows there is a better way. She’s been sharing her frank and funny wisdom with her patients for years, and in Moody Bitches Dr. Holland offers readers a guide to our bodies and our moodiness that includes insider information about the pros and cons of the drugs we’re being offered, the direct link between food and mood, an honest discussion about sex, practical exercise and sleep strategies, as well as some surprising and highly effective natural therapies that can help us press the reset button on our own bodies and minds. In the tradition of Our Bodies, Our Selves, this groundbreaking guide for women of all ages will forge a much needed new path in women’s health—and offer women invaluable information on how to live better, and be more balanced, at every stage of life.